Sunday, February 1, 2009

Can't wait

My SIL is suppose to have her baby tomorrow at 40+1. I'll never know being that pregnant. She is also having a boy, which is totally killing me. I feel this is a safe place where I can express my complete disgust with my in-laws. Two of the most pathetic, bottom feeding, welfare cheating, mooching people I know. Why do they get what they want and I get another baseline sonogram? Yep, I started today.

22 months of trying. 11 months of trying with meds. 2 failed IUIs. T wants to start IVF. The plan was that if this month didn't work, to have lap surgery and fix the left ovary. He thinks it's a waste of time and we should just start IVF. I'll be honest. I'm a little scared of IVF. It costs alot even with the amazing insurance we have. Our insurance isn't going to cover all the meds, so I expect at least a grand out of pocket for that. Then there is the risk of multiples. I don't know why I feel this way. It just feels so drastic. I think I also have doubt it will work. My body is in total revolt of being pregnant.

Then T and I got in a big fight on the way home tonight. I was bitching about the SIL and all the things that she gets to experience that I won't (natural birth, labor, etc). All I have is that I won't ever go past my due date. He starts in on the IVF. I say I need the surgery first. Every time I have a follicle on my left side, I feel like I'm being stabbed in the side. That's with only 1 follie, not multiples. That is going to lay me out. I'll be begging for pain killers and staying in bed. I'd rather get the thing fixed and have better chances all around. Yes, I understand that is another delay. Yes, I just want to be pregnant. There is no guarantee with any of it.

What do you think? Surgery or jump into IVF. I think I'm going to make T come to me with this week's appt. I told him he wouldn't have to go to another one, but I want him there to talk to Dr. L too.

1 comment:

Niki said...

Are you currently seeing an RE? If so, ask him his thoughts on how having the lap would help with IVF. If he doesn't think that the lap would improve your chances with IVF, then why do it? However, if you are in so much pain from one follicle, then you might want to consider doing it just to alleviate the potential pain you'd have with many follicles!

You mentioned being worried about multiples. The risk of high-order multiples is actually much less with IVF than with injectables/ IUI. It's much more controlled and they will likely only transfer 2 embryos to someone your age. I agree that it's expensive--we spent $25,000 on IVF. However, it does give you the BEST odds of a bfp! To me that was worth the extra money and reduction in monthly heartache. Yes, there are no guarantees of a bfp even with IVF, but you are getting as close as possible to a bfp with it. Of course I'm biased b/c I'm an IVF vet, but you are starting your 4th injectibles cycle. My RE recommends 3 inj/iui and then move on to IVF. Best wishes to you my friend!