The Preeclampsia Foundation is doing a book of stories for Saving Grace this year. This is my first draft of Cooper's story. I had to chop it down alot to fit the 500 word maximum.
December 28, 2005 was the day that changed our lives forever. I was sleeping on the couch while watching TV. At 3:30 the TV woke me up. I turned it off and went to bed. As I got into bed, I realized my stomach was hurting a little bit. As I lay there sipping my water and watching the clock, I am waiting for the pain to subside. This being my first child, I am thinking that a contraction has to subside at some point, right? It was 4:45 by the time we got to the hospital and the nurses were hooking me up to the monitors. They put the Doppler on my stomach, silence. Moved it around, silence. Brought in another machine, silence. I knew this wasn't good. They started prepping me for an emergency c-section. I remember my husband calling my mom in the corner of the room. He had no idea what was going on, but I did.
The nurses literally ran me to the OR. Not a minute after I was on the operating table the doctor on call came in. She sat me up and told me they couldn't find a heartbeat. As the nurse helped me back into bed, I could see the tears on her face. About the time the epidural was done, my vitals started to plunge. I remember hearing my doctor slapping me on the legs and yelling at me to breathe. I was rushed back to the OR for a c-section. The placenta had completely separated from my uterus.
Hours later, I was still having problems. I was rushed back into the operating room. I do remember my doctor telling me that they were going back in to check for more bleeding. They were unable to keep me stable. If my uterus was still bleeding and they were not able to stop it, they might have to do a hysterectomy. I remember saying whatever needs to be done. I didn't want to die at 23. The next thing I remember was waking up in ICU the next day. When they let my husband come back to see me, I found out that I undergone two surgeries to save my life. I had to have 13 units of blood and countless units of platelets.
I did get to see and hold my son that afternoon. He was beautiful, wrapped in a white blanket with a blue stocking cap on his head. He had huge hands and dark hair. We left with empty arms.
All together I spent 5 days in ICU and 4 more days in post-op. My doctor stayed next to my side for 18 hours that first day. Three days after I got home from the hospital, we buried our son next to my dad. That was the hardest thing to do, letting go of all of our dreams and hopes for our son and family.