Hope can be a wonderful thing or a nightmare. You would think with all the shit life has thrown at me, that I would get used to hope being a nightmare. But no... The only silver lining I have right now, is that I wasn't so off in lala land of dreams that my world came crashing down. My beta came back negative the day before Thanksgiving. Of course the nurse called at the exact same moment I was getting out of my car at my aunt's house. I had no time to react and had to put on my happy face immediately. Thus causing me to tell DH about it via text which now that I look back at is rather shitty.
Later in the afternoon, the dr called me to discuss which really meant alot. He said to rest and relax and come back when we are ready. He is still really positive and we were able to freeze 5 embryos too.
I came home from Thanksgiving and got really really drunk Friday night with my dear friend. Like room spinning, can't feel my legs. It was glorious at the time until I was hung over for two days. I am getting too old for this shit...
You know the saying what goes up must come down? I think that I didn't get so high as to be hitting bottom right now. I just had a feeling in my gut that it wasn't going to be positive. Or maybe that was just me protecting my heart. All I wanted was for something positive to look forward to in December instead of dread. Give it another couple of weeks and my black cloud will be following me I am sure.
This year for Cooper's birthday, I am going to do a photo challenge. If you see any signs with "Cooper" in them, take a pic and send it to me. I've got a few places that I am going to have to hit up around here. And anyone that lives in Loganville, GA...there is an entire neighborhood of Cooper streets. Even a Cooper Woods! Email them to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.