6 weeks and counting!

Still preggo! Still going!

We had our first sonogram on Monday at 5w5d to see how many buns are in the oven.  Only one - whew!!
DH was disappointed because he wanted twins.  Having twins would be cool, but a twin pregnancy terrifies me.   

I go back in 2 weeks for another sono where we will get to see the heart beat.

How many of you that have had losses in your past and THEN dealt with infertility had anxiety about telling people?  I have this monster anxiety about telling my mom.  Mostly because she is nosy, has not regards to my privacy, can't keep a story straight and has a blabber mouth.  I have anxiety about keeping it from her, but I know if I told her now then I would have anxiety about her running her mouth all over town.  We live in a small town with only about 5,000.  The last thing I want right now is to end up on her church's prayer list AKA gossip express.

Still not sure what to do on that front...  Guess we shall see what happens!

I am...

... in shock.
... scared to say the words out loud.
... pregnant!

On July 21, we did a frozen embryo transfer with these two 5 day blasts.

About a week after the transfer, I just had this feeling that it worked.  I couldn't bring myself to say the words "I am pregnant" out loud.  While lying in bed one night, I told DH "I think it worked."  The pure and utter exhaustion.  Needing to take several hour naps every day.  Even after getting 10+ hours of sleep.  

Last Thursday, I went for my first beta.  After 26 hours of agony waiting for a call and a very bitchy me, the clinic finally called with positive result.

I cried.
I laughed.
I paced.
I prayed.

The next morning, I went back for my second beta on a Saturday.  After the long wait for the first results, I was ready for another lengthy wait.  Monday evening, after a very long work day while getting lectured by my boss, I had another call coming through.  The clinic. After hours.  CRAP!  I couldn't get to it fast enough and they didn't leave a message.  My evening was ruined.

I worried.
I chewed my nails.
I paced.
I prayed.

Why would they call after hours and leave no message?  The last time I got a call from the clinic after hours was when the Dr called me to discussed the failed IVF cycle.  The next morning, I called the clinic at 8:05am.  Guess what?!?!  My numbers went up!  No bad news and I worried about nothing.

I have my first sonogram scheduled for this coming Monday.  If the internet calculators are correct, that would make me 5 weeks officially today!

Managing not to freak out too much and keep a positive outlook.

We have not told our family yet and not sure when we will.  We haven't discussed that far ahead yet. Just taking it day by day right now and keeping it quiet.

I am grateful.
I am still scared to say the words.
I am pregnant!
I trust you to keep a secret!

Forward Progress!

Today, I had my baseline sonogram for a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET).  This whole cycle just seems alot less.  Less appointments, less shots, less blood draws, less stress and less money.

Honestly, it feels weird not driving in three times a week for blood draws and sonograms.  Not that I am complaining. Is it amazing to believe that I don't have to go back for 2 whole weeks?!?!  When I go back, we are checking the progress of the thickness of the lining.  If it looks good, then we will do the schedule 6 days later.

So for now, it's estrogen patches and pills for two weeks.  I go back on July 7th for a progress check!

Ready to Start Again

Hmm... where have I been so far in 2014?!?!

January - Started off the year with the flu.  Oh yes, Merry Christmas to me!  After I recovered from that, the plan was in place.  With determination, I started working on loosing the 25lbs I had gained during the last six months of 2013 while doing fertility treatments.  My goal was to have this off by March 1.  Laser like focus!

February - Kept on loosing weight and had a business trip to LA the last weekend of the month that I knew was going to set me back several pounds.

March - Happy Birth-Month to ME!!!  My splurging with my trip to LA continued and then extended all through March.  Surprisingly, I ended March only 3 lbs shy of my goal. Plus, I completed part of my New Year's resolution to just say "NO".  NO, I will not be president any more of the Lady Elks.  Look at me - Not in charge!

April - My coworker got married and was out for 2 weeks.  The stress and sheer amount of work I had to cover dropped those last 3 lbs.

May - Preeclampsia Awareness Month and full out month of craziness.  But oh so worth it!  The Oklahoma City walk was amazing and pulled out with a strong finish.  Then up was the Dallas Promise Walk.  I really can't put into words how amazing the walk was the year.  We surpassed any and all expectations that I have ever had.  Our goal was $15,000 and right now we are almost at $24,000.  We will meet it before all is said and done.  So close!!! Pics below are from the OKC walk.  My butterfly didn't want to fly away and I got to hang out with old friends.

The end of May is near so of course I have to start a new adventure!  Today, I made an FET consult appointment with my RE for Monday.  Somehow, I have managed to keep the weight off.  Even when I was sure that it had to be creeping back on, it hasn't.

Excited. Scared.  Afraid to hope.  We shall see what this next step brings!

Jealous

Today started off as a great day.  I went to church with my husband and had a wonderful lunch with our pastor and friends.  As I am pulling out of the parking lot, my phone rings and I see it is a call from my friend in San Diego.  Seeing her number on the caller ID is typically a rare thing since we "talk" so much online.  Seeing it on a Sunday, I knew it wasn't going to be good news.  She shared with me that a great man was lost today.  Too suddenly from a heart attack.  A family grieves again for another loss in a long line of losses.  I think that how can one family be put through so much devastation?  My heart pours out for them and I am numb at the possibility that the last time my family whom I consider professional grievers has suffered such a loss.  It's been 8 years since Cooper died and since we were on a steady schedule of loosing someone every 3-4 years, I have had this nagging in my gut that we are over due.  Pretty sad way to think, huh?

I walk inside and try to read the book I am currently on (Brutally Beautiful), but my mine is all on this news, on the Warner family.  John Warner has been a leader and visionary in the quest to bring awareness to preeclampsia.  In 2010, I had the honor of meeting this legend in our group of volunteers and their name is spoken with awe.  "The Warners" are revered for their unwavering focus on the horrors of this disease.  See John and Brenda Warner lost their adult daughter, Shelly, to preeclampsia.  I would consider John to be the "father" of the Promise Walks since his walk in Quad Cities, IA is one of the original walks back we were just the Walk-A-Thons.  In October last year, John and Brenda chaired Saving Grace which is a huge night of fundraising and awareness for the Preeclampsia Foundation.  They let us into their lives a little more that night and I had the pleasure of meeting their other daughter Kim.  It was a highly emotional evening with all thoughts of Shelly and the reason that brought all of us together.  The progress of research and funding that has been made in her honor is indescribable.  Her legacy has been established and she will never be forgotten. Ever.

I tell my husband about the phone call and say, "At least he is with Shelly now."  That small comment that was made under my breath hasn't left me yet.  I am jealous.  Jealous of a father now reunited with his daughter.  There are times with my soul yearns for the day that I will be reunited with Cooper.

Yesterday, I got to love on an 11-month old little boy in the foster system. He was squishy and smiling at me.  No longer are my arms used to holding little ones and just carrying my laptop to my room to type this, I felt that soreness in my arms.  I thought I would get my fix, but like a junkie my arms just now feel empty again.  I want that soreness to be from holding my own child and I wonder if that day will ever come.  Today doubt crept in.  I have been so positive lately.  Loosing the weight I have gained from all the meds from the past 6 months.  Working on a goal that I have so firmly in my sights.  Hope can be a very dangerous thing I have learned and it can gut you.  I just hope that vision I have in my dreams doesn't destroy me.  I see my husband with other people's children and I can see what an amazing father he would be. We have joked in the past about how our child wouldn't learn to walk until they were 3 years old because they would never be put down.  I can totally see a battle too on who would get to cuddle and love such a blessing.  Some days I think that I want to make my husband a father more than anything.

I read a heartbreaking and bonding book about a month ago and highlighted so many sections.  From the first chapter, I knew this book was going to speak to my heart and tear at my soul. Below are some quotes from "Arsen" by Mia Asher.

Even when the horizon seems to be bleak and full of pain, we must learn to fight and preserver because the rewards of those tears of struggle mean that you get to live your life once more.

Miracles are the consequences of daring to believe.

Well I am scared to believe, scared to hope and jealous of reunions.

I leave you with Shelly's Legacy as told by the late John Warner.

It is dangerous to hope

Hope can be a wonderful thing or a nightmare.  You would think with all the shit life has thrown at me, that I would get used to hope being a nightmare.  But no... The only silver lining I have right now, is that I wasn't so off in lala land of dreams that my world came crashing down. My beta came back negative the day before Thanksgiving.  Of course the nurse called at the exact same moment I was getting out of my car at my aunt's house.  I had no time to react and had to put on my happy face immediately.  Thus causing me to tell DH about it via text which now that I look back at is rather shitty.

Later in the afternoon, the dr called me to discuss which really meant alot.  He said to rest and relax and come back when we are ready.  He is still really positive and we were able to freeze 5 embryos too.

I came home from Thanksgiving and got really really drunk Friday night with my dear friend. Like room spinning, can't feel my legs.  It was glorious at the time until I was hung over for two days.  I am getting too old for this shit...

You know the saying what goes up must come down?  I think that I didn't get so high as to be hitting bottom right now.  I just had a feeling in my gut that it wasn't going to be positive.  Or maybe that was just me protecting my heart.  All I wanted was for something positive to look forward to in December instead of dread.  Give it another couple of weeks and my black cloud will be following me I am sure.

This year for Cooper's birthday, I am going to do a photo challenge.  If you see any signs with "Cooper" in them, take a pic and send it to me.  I've got a few places that I am going to have to hit up around here.  And anyone that lives in Loganville, GA...there is an entire neighborhood of Cooper streets.  Even a Cooper Woods!  Email them to me at cooperswoods@gmail.com.

What was I thinking?

It is one of those nights where I am so tired that I can't function.  Of course I decided it was time to write a blog!  Hope this makes an inkling of sense.

Today I am 2 days past embryo transfer (2dp5dt).  Yep, we retrieved 12 eggs last Wednesday and transferred two embryos on Monday (pic below). We changed up the protocol this cycle to Lupron based and it worked amazingly.  The goal initially was to overstimulate, freeze and transfer later.  But I was right on the money so we transferred this cycle.  Which in my mind I had that we wouldn't transfer until January or February, so this is a plus.  The lab also called me today and told me of the 8 embryos that were left, they were able to freeze 5.

Technically, I am pregnant until proven otherwise.  Technically, I am freaking the fuck out.  I know it's just the lack of sleep (woke up at 4:45 this morning for no good reason) that is causing this panic attack.  You know when you get told not to do something and you do it anyway?  Yep, stress free and calm environment self destructed.  I was lying in bed, begging myself to go to sleep.  Watching a lame show on netflix. Nope.  Putting lavender eye mask on with my kick ass spa music pandora station (See Peter Kater).  Nope.  Mind is whirling away.  So I decided to put my thoughts out there. Maybe this will work!

Further good news is that I am off all of next week, so I just need to make it through two more days and too many projects at work that need to ship before then. Bad news, I have a ton of projects due by the end of the week that are dragging and I am going to have to raise hell tomorrow to get them done.  Printing?  We don't need no stinking printing!

I go in Wednesday next week for my first beta.  Then get to drive to my aunt's for Thanksgiving where I have to figure out how to fake that I am not drinking.  What are your suggestions???  It makes me nervous.  I am also nervous that they will call me with the first beta results on Wednesday and I will either be glowing and family will figure it out. Or I will be a basket case and family will figure it out.  TOO MUCH PRESSURE.

Let's see what else am I freaking out about?  The fact that all these hormones have given me the worst hot flashes.  The anxiety has raised my BP.  Working from home. The dessert auction this week at the Elks Lodge.  Hiding that I am not supposed to be lifting more than 5 lbs for the next two weeks.  Hiding that I've got creams, pills and patches that will have to travel with me next week.  Sick and tired of lying to people too!

I just need someone to tell me to chill out and it will all be fine.  That trying to get pregnant wasn't a huge mistake that will end like it did before.  That we will finally have something positive to look forward to in December.  That printing isn't the end of the world.  That. Everything. Will. Be. FINE!  I'm not asking too much, am I?

It's just ink on paper

Since I have decided that I need to vent a little more on my blog, I have been over hauling it and looking back on old posts to see where my life was back then.  Funny that some problem from 4 years ago that seemed like it was the end of the world...I couldn't even tell you which customer I referred to as Satan's Retarded Stepsister let alone what project they hated.  Hmm....  It is all just ink on paper and not the end of the world.  Don't take work so seriously and enjoy life!  You would think that I have has this lesson pounded into my head enough, but apparently I need a reminder.  And often!

It is interesting looking back.  I don't know if I will ever really make my blog public knowledge.  Then again some day I might want to be like Boo-ya Bitches to the people I know in real life.  If you actually know me in real life and I shared my blog with you, feel honored.  You are in the circle of trust.  My circle of trust is very small.  Bless my mom's heart, but she is nosey.  Nosey!  I don't want her in all my business making more ill-placed comments that I have to brush off.  I also don't want to end up on her Sunday School's prayer list aka gossip circle.  I could probably use the extra prayers, but don't want to be whispered about.  The emotional ups and downs, the strain on our marriage, the amount of money we are spending and what we are spending it on, the pure heartfelt honesty that I pour out here is not for the entire town to know.  One of the disadvantages of living in a small town of only 5,000.  So aside from you, there are 7 people in my life that know what we are going through right now.  That's probably why I need to start blogging again!

All in

So my consult with the RE went really well.  We already know that I have PCOS and suspected issues with my left ovary.  We both go through all of the blood work and tests and get green lights all around to move forward with IVF.  My AMH level is 7.2 which is pretty darn high and the RE starts me on a Antagonist protocol being very careful not to overstimulate.  I start stimming on 7/27 on Follistem 125 which is a baby dose.

7/27 - Follistem 125
7/28 - Follistem 125
7/29 - Follistem 150 and feather it
Dr appt, E2=75: Where o where is my left ovary hiding?

7/30 - Follistem 125
7/31 - Follistem 150
8/1 - Follistem 175
Dr Appt, E2=140: Left ovary is still MIA and I am looking like a junking from all the blood draws.

8/2 - Follistem 175
8/3 - Follistem 225, Start Cetrotide, target retrieval date of 8/10
Dr Appt: 2 nice follies on the right, 3 possible on the left.  Left is getting heavier and coming into view.  RE is hoping to pump it up and get it into range to retrieve.

8/4 - Follistem 225, Cetrotide
8/5 - Follistem 225, Cetrotide, Menopur
Dr Appt: Not enough progress on the follies on the right but left is in view now.  RE is hesitant and says we should cancel this cycle.  WTH?  How did we go from a retrieval date to two days later cancelling? He says that he was cautious with me and instead of over stimulating has under stimulated.  Something changes his mind and he says lets give it until Wednesday and then decide.

It takes every last ounce of control I have to make it out of that office and to my car without losing my shit. And then I lost it.  Lost. My. Shit.  Like hysterical in my husband's parking lot sobbing about what the RE said today.  More on the emotional roller coaster later...

8/6 - Follistem 225, Cetrotide, Menopur
8/7 - Menopur
Dr Appt: RE reviews my surgery report from 2009 on what is the deal with my left ovary.  My small intestine is wrapped around it like a mink stole.  It is too risky to try and retrieve from that side and could most likely end in a perforated bowel.  I like my bowels the way they are thank you!  Again, the RE says cancel.  With only 2 follies on the right side, we don't have enough to continue with IVF.  After a moment, he says how about we convert to IUI since you do have the two nice on the right?  It might work, why not.

8/8 - HCG Trigger
8/9 - IUI
By the way, the IF problems are allllll me.  My husband has super sperm and has started to refer to himself as "Testicules" like Hercules but, yeah you get the drift... Yes, his lab report from the IUI is hanging on the fridge displayed like a proud report card.

Back to venting, ranting, talking to myself...

It is amazing the amount of self talk that you have going through your head with trying to conceive.  Or maybe it's me and the fact that I feel there is so much at stake.  One miscarriage, one still birth, 2.5 years of previously TTC and now 9 months this time TTC.  There are only a handful of people that I know in real life that are in the circle of trust about us trying again.  I love my friends to pieces, but none of them have been in my shoes.  There are some that have had the crazy traumatic preeclampsia pregnancies so they get that part, but not the rest.  Not the losing a child.  Not the losing a dream.  Not the strangle on your marriage.  I feel like I am drowning them in my empty uterus drama and so I am picking up my blog again.

What has brought us to this point you ask?  Let's back up almost a year ago...

In October last year, I was awarded with volunteer of the year for a non-profit group that I spend entirely too much time volunteering for. Then again, I have no kids at home to take care of, play with or raise so I spend time volunteering.  It is beyond drinking the koolaid and moved into swimming in the koolaid.

Part of winning this award, included a trip for the annual fundraiser gala that my volunteer sisters meet up at every year.  We decided to hang for a few more days since we live all over the country and only see each other at this event every year.  One evening while sitting a neighborhood bar with B and her husband, we are talking about kids.  B had a crazy pregnancy herself ending with code blue seizures and has a healthy 8 year old son.  Her husband asks me if we would try again.  I tell him that I see my husband interact with other kids and I know he would make a great dad.  I want to give that to him but I am terrified.

See my marriage has gone through the wringer.  We have to really work at communication because when we get mad, we don't yell or argue.  We shut up and build walls.  So while I am having this conversation several hundred miles from home, my husband is having the same one with our friends unbeknownst to me.

Fast forward another month and we have been kicking around the idea of buying a new house.  Back and forth because we are really comfortable with our payments and living debt free except for our mortgage.  Yes, my house drives me crazy on a daily basis but my payments are ridiculously low.  One Friday night, while sitting around a bonfire enjoying some beverages and the stars my husband pops off.  "I would rather have a kid than have a new house."  Oh really....  I know there was a stupid grin on my face and a little tear in my eye.  I still want to give that to him but have honestly been a chicken shit to bring it up.  Now that the top is off, it's not going back on.  For some insane reason or maybe just to ease into things, I want to see if my body will actually function like it should and decide to try naturally for 6 months.  After 6 months, I will call the RE.

1 month... nothing

2 months.... nothing

3 months... nothing

4 months.... nothing

5 months... nothing

Called the RE's office and made an appointment for IVF consult.  We aren't screwing around this time and are all in.

Hopeful Hearts

I went to a new support group/bible study tonight for infertility. Even though I felt like a veteran, it was very good. Not only did I feel the support from a group of people that understood my steps, but I felt... (hard to put in words here) God opening his arms to me. Like welcoming me back to him. So here is to coming home.

I'm just that boring!

I realized I haven't posted much at all lately. Twice in one day, oh my! Kinda have a lot on my mind.

Now that we aren't going through fertility treatments, there doesn't seem to be that much going on in my life. I get up, go to work, roll my eyes at my boss and say a few choice words after I hang up the phone, come home, read a little, go to bed and start all over. There are no crazy dr appointments or shots or nerves on edge.

My dear friend and former coworker recently told me she was pregnant. We relate on a different level because she suffered 7 years of fertility treatments. And when her adoption fell through this spring, I felt her pain of losing that child and dream. I'd like to think I was the most excited person for her news. I know she is terrified still of the what ifs. But if there is anyone I know deserves it, it's her.

Last week we had this long chat via IM. We talked about how stressful the job is and how we are both alike with our Type A personalities that take ownership and pride in our work. She told me how she thinks that getting layed off and what helped her relax enough to get pregnant. She asks me flat out when I'm going to quit my job. It's a realization that I have accepted to myself some time ago. That I won't get pregnant working where I'm at and that I won't have a successful pregnancy either.

I'm kinda at a crossroads. I love what I do and who I work for. My boss has become a true mentor and in someways a stand in dad. At what price do I stay there? To get out of debt and have a bigger home? What's the point of having all that if I don't have a family to share it with? Is having a family worth keeping this job? These are things I haven't even discussed with my husband. But I feel them buried deep down inside. In the end, what if I leave my job and I still end up childless?

I'm very tired of being the one that doesn't fit in. Over the summer, we have been hanging out with a different group of friends. I really enjoy this group. There aren't any kids running around or even being discussed, we are married or in a committed relationship, all have jobs and enjoy relaxing. We are all pretty much at the same stage in life. Still I feel I don't fit. I yearn for something else. I've had something else but it was taken from me.

On Easter Sunday, we visited our friends church and went with them to Sunday School. I really enjoyed the topic of the class, but again felt out of place. It was a class of young marrieds, most with families except for the couple most recently married. As we go around the room, everyone shares their jobs and brags on their kids. Then it's our turn. I stare at my hands, not really sure what to say. T feels my hesitation and grabs my hand. He introduces us to the class without a mention of Cooper, but he squeezes my hand in acknowledgement of the pain just underneath.

What to say or do

Not sure I've post this here but there is this list of what to say or do when a baby dies. Is there one for facing infertiles? If not, let's make one.

Yes, I'm still up writing a letter to my mother. I'll let you know how that goes.

Taking a Break

Got a BFN today which really didn't surprise me. It's been one of those cycles. So it's official now. We are taking a break from TTC. Kinda feel like a weight is lifted off my chest. I don't know how long it will be, but we need to feel at peace again. I also would like to work on loosing some of the 30 pounds the fertility meds have added.

The family baby mama drama went to an all time high today. My sis had her son last night. No phone call, no text, no email. I find out from Facebook. Then my mom called DH. She doesn't know how to handle me. So when I am ready she's there. I'm so tired of her BS. I've spent all day pissing about it. Now tonight I am going to the Elk's Lodge where I will partake in adult beverages and enjoy myself. Tomorrow I would like to run away for the weekend and forget about my family.

Can't Sleep

It's hot in my house or at least I'm hot. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact I have been standing over the stove frying bacon and sausage for the Father's Day Brunch tomorrow at the Elk's Lodge. As Ladies VP, I'm in charge for the moment. Our President's dad had open heart surgery this week, so I have been writing newsletter articles, coordinating volunteers and such.

I hate father's day almost as much as mother's day. I am fatherless, sonless and will be husbandless tomorrow. T has to work tomorrow - poor guy. I really wanted to get him a compost tumbler, but couldn't find the deal I wanted. So I settled for some new work shirts.

My sister had her baby shower today. I didn't go. Can't do it. My mom left me a voicemail this morning. I erased it after, "I know today is difficult for you..." Yeah, you can stop right there. Just leave me alone and don't try to understand how difficult it is for me. You are in the glow of a new grandbaby right around the corner.

Yesterday I had another IUI for my one follicle. This is the last month before moving on to IVF. Right now, T and I are both so burnt out ttc, that we might take a break. Being on a schedule for over a year has taken a toll. It has sucked the romance out of our marriage and made it a chore. We need a break from the expectations, the dr appointments and the crazy drugs. We need a chance to find each other again. This new schedule isn't helping either. We are always running in opposite directions.

Keep praying I am pregnant this month. And Pray for Stellan.

Today was a little better

My crazy abusive customer only emailed me twice and it wasn't directed at me. What a difference it makes when she leaves me alone. I did have a little drama with one of my plants not getting my orders done in time. They were being pig headed, so I pulled half of the orders and gave them to another plant. I used my superior problem solving skills and worked it out instead of escalating to upper management.

I meet with Dr. L tomorrow am. I really hope it goes better and we have some improvement. Unfortunately, my job isn't going to get any less stressful and I kinda need a pay check. Any other ideas for stress release that don't involve spending lots of money on massages? It's entirely too hot to walk when I get home from work (It's 9:00pm and heat index is 93). So share your ideas? What do you do to relieve stress?

My happy note for the rest of the week: California Casual! Shorts and flip flops to work. Thank Heaven because it is miserable hot here.

Are you stressed?

Um yeah! Had my appt with Dr H this morning. Same exact protocol as last month. I had 1 measureable follicle at 14mm. This time last month I had 4 measureable follicles. He asks if I have been stressed lately? Hmm... let's see. I have a customer that is abusive but she's got us bent over and taking it. A sales rep that won't listen to anything I say. A car the broke down yesterday. Just to name a few. Last month I was on vacation this week. I can't take a week of vacation every month.

Add it to the stress pile. Crap.

Weekend Roundup

Did I mention that T started a new horrible shift at work??? I hate it with a passion. 7-4 (which is the only nice part that we can eat dinneSr at a decent hour), but he is off Tues and Wed. I never get a day with him. Last weekend was the first weekend of this. I was bored out of my mind. This weekend was a different tiger.

First thing Sat Morning, I met with Dr. H. Nope, still not preggo. Pretty well knew that was going to be the result after my post-ovulation follicle check. I still had 2 follicles on the right side that looked like they had tried to pop but didn't. Dontcha just love how my body hates to function. I was scared that will those giant follicles there that I would have giant cysts. Nope, the old ovaries were back to normal yesterday. Whew!

So the plan this month is same meds as last month. Instead of doing the HCG subq (in my tummy) we will be doing it muscularly (in my arse). Let's keep our fingers crossed that we have great eggs when I go back on 6/16. Hopefully they look great and we can do IUI on 6/17 while T is off work. This is the last month of IUI. If this doesn't work, we will start IVF next.

I've also been stressing about how in the world are we going to arrange T's dropoff with his new schedule. The good thing is that his office is 3 min from the dr office. But he has to be at work at 7 and their earliest dropoff is 8. Any suggestions on the logistics to ease my mind?

From there I went shopping hunting out a hot pink shirt to go with my super duper cute new hot pink wedges that I got for $6.99. I need to take a picture of these little cuties. Finally found a shirt. Got my eyebrows threaded then headed home. Baked 2 batches of brownies....did I mention all this prep work was for a bachlor/bachlorette party??? Took a nap, went and got my hair and makeup done. Then headed to meet everyone at the hotel.

We went to Gloria's in Addison. I have never been there before. Besides being quite the hot spot (they open for Salsa Dancing at 11pm) their food was amazing. I got Sour Cream Chicken Enchiladeas. I swear they were better than sex. Best I've ever had. By the time we got seated it was close to 9:30 so we ate way too much chips, salsa and black bean dip. When the food arrived I could only eat one of the sexy beasts. Not to fear, I packed up what was left to eat for lunch today. It was still amazing.

I realized last night that I am getting old. There was a big divide in the ages at this party. There were the hovering around 30 group and the hovering around legal drinking age group. Why did it feel like being a chaparone instead of a participant? By the time I got to sleep it was 4:30. T was also at this party....still had to be at work at 7. Did he get any sleep? Nope. Not a wink. He got home from work around 5. I had dinner ready so he could eat and crash. He's been asleep since 5:15. Poor poor T.

In the 2 Week Wait

Dr. L is so impressed with my hubby's super sperm. Every time, he makes a comment about how he sets records. Even sent the lab results home with me so we can frame them. Today's count: 36 Million High Quality Swimmers. According to Dr. L, a normal man is around 5 Million.

Dr. L thinks that this is a great cycle and we should conceive. I go back in Saturday for another sono to check and make sure the follicles released the eggs.

3 Nice Follicles + 36 million swimmer = 2 Week Wait

I also had my free hair treatment from Keratase today and got a pedicure. Life is good!

Big Follies!

I saw Dr. L today for CD13. I have been on clomid, menopur and dexasomething. Results? A 19, two 17's and a 14 follies. WHOO! I take my HCG shot tonight and have IUI scheduled for Wednesday.

DH and I are on vacation this week and I have been so relaxed.

Saturday- Slept until 11:00. Went and looked at houses with my mom. Then made my preggo sister go to dinner with us so she could be the DD. UMMMM Margaritas!

Sunday - Slept until 10:00. Worked in the garden most of the day. The most amazing weather. Which was good, because the weeds have taken over our garden. We are about half way through pulling. Today - Slept until 8:00. Got eyebrows threaded, saw Dr. L. Went shoe shopping at the $6.99 shoe store and got 2 pairs of really cute shoes. One pair of pink peeptoe wedges and a pair of pink stripper shoes. Those are just for me and my "dancing" workout. Ate lunch with DH and going to look at more houses this afternoon. Woot!

I LOVE VACATION!