Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Texas Heat

I got this today and it is dead on.


Dear Diary

Just moved to Texas ! Now this is a state that knows how to live!!

Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place!It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here..

June 14th:

Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th:

Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me.Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th:

The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat?At least, it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th:

Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body).. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do.I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th:

I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water balloon.The car now smells like Kibbles and Shits.I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.

July 25th:

The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!!And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th:

Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now,$225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one.Why did I ever come here?

Aug. 4th:

It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today.It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.

Aug. 8th:

If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work,the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

Aug. 9th:

Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire.My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass . . . Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.

Aug 10th:

The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny.Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do Shit for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.Doesn't it ever rain in this damn state? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over.Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.

Aug. 14th:

Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Cactus are dead.Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and guess what he asked me??? "Hot enough for you today?"My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail.Freaking Texas .What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??

Will write later to let you know

Monday, July 6, 2009

What to say or do

Not sure I've post this here but there is this list of what to say or do when a baby dies. Is there one for facing infertiles? If not, let's make one.

Yes, I'm still up writing a letter to my mother. I'll let you know how that goes.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Damage I did today

I spent yesterday at my friends farm enjoying some peace. Then this morning did my weekly shopping run. I think I did pretty darn good.

Kroger -
Total before coupons and sales: $87.88
Total Spent: $52.63
Total Saved: $35.25 or 40%
Non sale items included Koolaid for the niece, Ocean Spray to go for the hubs, 4 lbs of Strawberries, 4 lbs of Carrots and more hummus for hubs.

Target-
Total before coupons and sales: $87.23
Total Spent: $49.90Total Saved: $37.33 or 43%
This included a 20lb bag of dog food and a 24 ct of Zyrtec.

Petsmart -Total before coupons and sales: $28.79
Total Spent: $23.79Total Saved: $5 or 17%

And now for the drum roll please.....

CVS-
Total before coupons and sales: $229.00
Total Spent: $14.58Total Saved: $214.42 or 94%
AND Remaining ECBs: $41.47
Anybody need a blood glucose meter??? I'm starting a collection of them and I don't need them.

Total Damage for today-
Total before coupons and sales: $432.90
Total Spent: $140.90
Total Saved: $292.00 or 67.5%

And my mom is still an idiot. That hasn't changed in 2 days.

Friday, July 3, 2009

First Draft - Cooper's Story

The Preeclampsia Foundation is doing a book of stories for Saving Grace this year. This is my first draft of Cooper's story. I had to chop it down alot to fit the 500 word maximum.

Comments? Suggestions?

December 28, 2005 was the day that changed our lives forever. I was sleeping on the couch while watching TV. At 3:30 the TV woke me up. I turned it off and went to bed. As I got into bed, I realized my stomach was hurting a little bit. As I lay there sipping my water and watching the clock, I am waiting for the pain to subside. This being my first child, I am thinking that a contraction has to subside at some point, right? It was 4:45 by the time we got to the hospital and the nurses were hooking me up to the monitors. They put the Doppler on my stomach, silence. Moved it around, silence. Brought in another machine, silence. I knew this wasn't good. They started prepping me for an emergency c-section. I remember my husband calling my mom in the corner of the room. He had no idea what was going on, but I did.

The nurses literally ran me to the OR. Not a minute after I was on the operating table the doctor on call came in. She sat me up and told me they couldn't find a heartbeat. As the nurse helped me back into bed, I could see the tears on her face. About the time the epidural was done, my vitals started to plunge. I remember hearing my doctor slapping me on the legs and yelling at me to breathe. I was rushed back to the OR for a c-section. The placenta had completely separated from my uterus.

Hours later, I was still having problems. I was rushed back into the operating room. I do remember my doctor telling me that they were going back in to check for more bleeding. They were unable to keep me stable. If my uterus was still bleeding and they were not able to stop it, they might have to do a hysterectomy. I remember saying whatever needs to be done. I didn't want to die at 23. The next thing I remember was waking up in ICU the next day. When they let my husband come back to see me, I found out that I undergone two surgeries to save my life. I had to have 13 units of blood and countless units of platelets.

I did get to see and hold my son that afternoon. He was beautiful, wrapped in a white blanket with a blue stocking cap on his head. He had huge hands and dark hair. We left with empty arms.

All together I spent 5 days in ICU and 4 more days in post-op. My doctor stayed next to my side for 18 hours that first day. Three days after I got home from the hospital, we buried our son next to my dad. That was the hardest thing to do, letting go of all of our dreams and hopes for our son and family.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Taking a Break

Got a BFN today which really didn't surprise me. It's been one of those cycles. So it's official now. We are taking a break from TTC. Kinda feel like a weight is lifted off my chest. I don't know how long it will be, but we need to feel at peace again. I also would like to work on loosing some of the 30 pounds the fertility meds have added.

The family baby mama drama went to an all time high today. My sis had her son last night. No phone call, no text, no email. I find out from Facebook. Then my mom called DH. She doesn't know how to handle me. So when I am ready she's there. I'm so tired of her BS. I've spent all day pissing about it. Now tonight I am going to the Elk's Lodge where I will partake in adult beverages and enjoy myself. Tomorrow I would like to run away for the weekend and forget about my family.